​Have you ever meditated? There are so many ways to meditate: mindful, transcendental, spiritual, walking, focused, movement, mantra, progressive, etc. I used to imagine a soft lavender dot right at the intersection of my eyes and the bridge of my nose. I would focus on that and slow my breathing. I got away from it for a long time. Then, a few years ago, when the new buzzword around was “mindfulness”, I started to learn about that. I tried it. I did it. I couldn’t get into it. Not as a regular, meditative practice, but I did apply it to other areas of my life, though. Then, I learned about resetting the vagus nerve (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-S8KT7w4uaA&ab_channel=NervousSystemNinja(ReneeOstertag)). I LOVE doing this! I can physically feel my body releasing the tension.
About 6 weeks ago, I learned how to do transcendental meditation. According to WebMD, “Transcendental Meditation (TM) is a technique for avoiding distracting thoughts and promoting a state of relaxed awareness.
While meditating, the person practicing TM sits in a comfortable position with eyes closed and silently repeats a mantra. A mantra is a word or sound from the Vedic tradition that is used to focus your concentration.
According to supporters of TM, when meditating, the ordinary thinking process is “transcended.” It’s replaced by a state of pure consciousness. In this state, the meditator achieves perfect stillness, rest, stability, order, and a complete absence of mental boundaries.”
Now, if anyone digs deeper into TM, you might find something called yogic flying…we did NOT do this!! We simply learned how to transcend. Sometimes, I struggle during TM, which is not uncommon. However, when that happens, I practice the vagus nerve reset to calm my body, then try again and that almost always works!
Whatever your method of slowing down your mind and body is, keep practicing it. You will get better and, hopefully feel the lasting benefits on your health.

This is a hard post for me, but I am honoring my mom’s memory by healing and becoming stronger. A few months ago, my beautIful, loving mama passed away. I had been spending more time with her and wanted nothing more than to make her happy and to not be in pain. I hope I at least made her happy.
Everyday, I wished I could take away her pain. Everyday it got worse. And, everyday, she asked me why “all of this started”. I didn’t have an answer. My mom, who was always so healthy, was stricken with pulmonary fibrosis, rheumatoid arthritis, and osteoarthritis. When she became bedridden, she developed drop foot, then drop wrist. At one point, she was on so much medication that she even developed Stevens-Johnson Syndrome (SJS). But, I brushed her hair and her teeth, I washed her face and put lotion on her. I put chapstick on her lips. I helped my dad as much as I could. I could see he was getting worn down (he often wouldn’t let us help; I think he was trying to protect us). And, you know what? I would do it all again!
Then the time came when her body could just no longer go on. As much as I wanted, and still want, my mama back on this earth, I’m glad she isn’t suffering anymore. But, I miss her. I miss my mama everyday. It hurts so bad that I don’t know how to go on each day.
If you can’t tell by now, I love the outdoors. I always have. I love hiking, camping, kayaking, cycling, etc. Just being outside is therapeutic for me. And this is where being outside helped me. During the last few weeks with mom, I also lost my job. But that was a blessing in disguise. I had time on my hands and took advantage of it. I went hiking, I slept, I walked, I rode my bike, I spent a lot of time with Luna, my beautiful Aussie/Border Collie service dog. And, I journaled. I wrote. I cried. I hiked. I sat in the outdoors. I didn’t hold back. But, all the while, I kept thinking “Can I really do this?”.
I woke up everyday and thought to myself “Can I really do this?” And, I guess the answer is yes, because I’m still doing it, whatever “it” is. I still get up everyday, I still go outside, I still talk to mama, I still cry, though not as often or as hard, I still journal.
I’ve had many other hardships in my life. I believe this is the hardest. And, yet, I still get up and go. I have learned a lot about mediation, the vagus nerve, and the nervous system. I’m on my way to learning even more about all of it. Now, I have to really put it into place so I can accomplish my mission: Serenity.
At the time I wrote this post (but hadn’t published it), I was heading to something that I THOUGHT I understood what it was about, but learned quickly it was nothing like I thought. It was SO much better. Stay tuned for the next HUGE step in my healing!